i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
