you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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