My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
