people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
