Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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