She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
