lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
