im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize