i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
