Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So here I am, sexting at work.
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