did you get engaged???
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
