I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The air taste purple.
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