so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
