I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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