she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
