When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
