He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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