I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
