Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
