I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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