i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
