My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
