I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wish you could order shots online.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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