weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
