new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
