i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
