oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
