It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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