I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
