He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
