Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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