dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
