the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize