dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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