i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
