I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Randomize
