i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Holy shit dude........stairs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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