How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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