My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize