You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
