I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
