I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
