I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
