You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
