Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
