my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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