Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just had sex on a roof
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
