twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I understand Curling. That high.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
