Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
