Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
