after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
