The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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