Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Please don't give away my fajitas
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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