He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
