I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
