I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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