Sry I called you an 8
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
