sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize