What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
