Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
