i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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