I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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