I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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