I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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