Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
