i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize