the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
